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Happy Happy Joy Joy Psychopathic Guardian Angels

What do my Guardian Angels really think of us humans and our prayers? (Stop right here if you think this is some inspirational article about sweet, protective and helpful Guardian Angels, because you're in for a shock. Because it's not. So for those brave enough, go ahead and read on.) :)

They're not too happy about it anymore. No joy or love or peacefully strumming damn harps in their world.

But isn't it their job to help us humans out, because some other supposedly almighty supernatural being ordered them to? (kinda says so in the Bible, I kinda sorta heard...)

In my comic book series, not anymore. Because in a nutshell, we drive them crazy.

So crazy in fact, they've mentally snapped.

So every time they hear a prayer to them begging for help, they go ballistic.

And they have become sick of answering the prayers of the despairing who pray to them. See, if you have one billion or more people on Earth (just go with me on this math), and almost all of them believe in and pray to Guardian Angels DAILY, and want them to solve major problems, help with a crisis, help end their suffering and pain, or save them from life's miseries, well, that's a goddamn lot of prayers to answer. Like they are some sort of supernatural 24/7 therapist/super hero/savior.

You would think that at some point they don't wanna keep up with this image anymore. 'Cause yeah, whiny, desperate, nagging, helpless humans constantly and non-stop praying to you about their problems can get really annoying at some point. Especially if they keep relying on Angels to save them from everything.

Is it any surprise that they've become disillusioned and angry with their jobs? (Like, Where's the "me" time?)

And even as they become Vampires, unfortunately, they're still Guardian Angels, and they still hear the prayers loud and clear, they can't just tune them out, and they are still programmed to respond. They can't seem to shake that part off yet.

So, the only thing a Vampire Guardian Angel-turned-psychopath can do is, well, shut those darn humans up. For good. So they can have some peace and quiet. And a bloody snack. Think "Serial Killer with black wings, fangs, and sharp swords that hunt you down the minute they hear your prayer to them. You're a target. And a meal. You're kinda like, well,  summoning them big time. You don't wanna do that.

So the moral of my comic book stories are....

A Guardian Angel is a supernatural, unseen being. So, do you really know who you're praying for help to? People shouldn't whine to a guardian angel because you don't really know what a guardian angel really is. You never know what's coming for you. It could be my very angry, and very hungry, Vampire Guardian Angels.

Move Along, No Romantic Vampires Here

Someone asked me the other day if my Vampires were "romantic and handsome".

Oh hell, no.

I proceeded to explain that they were, well, horrifying, bloody, and quite grotesque. And that you would not want to meet one in a dark alley, figuratively speaking.

Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

Well, she's not exactly my target audience.

If you're expecting a vampire love story with vampires as heroic, romantic figures, you've come to the wrong place.

And if you're looking for traditional vampires, I give you something completely different instead. Not the 1800s vampires, not the cloak-wearing vampires. And most definitely not the ...romantic ones.

No, they can't be killed by garlic, sunlight, stakes through the heart, or holy water. Holy water and crosses don't affect them 'cause, well, they are Guardian Angels. From Heaven. Still kinda holy. Sort of. Yeah.

These are not the vampires of legend and folklore stories. And they don't really like biting necks. They actually prefer to use swords and sharp weapons.

OK, so what are they?

Stay with me here. They are Guardian Angels. Yep, you know, the halo-wearing, white winged (well in this case, black winged), supposedly protective guardians of mankind? Um, not anymore.

Picture this: Guardian Angels go bad, become serial killers, basically kill humans who pray to them to shut them up (cause they don't wanna answer prayers anymore.)

Then....

Vampire bites Guardian Angel, Guardian Angel returns to Heaven, and, voila, turns all Guardian Angels into Vampires.

Still with me?

Let's move on. Human prays to Guardian Angel for help. Guardian Angel appears, except that he's a Vampire now.

Vampire Guardian Angel eats human.More like...disembowels. Eats...everything. Not just the blood. Think...disembowel....groovy.

Now that's much better. I prefer something disturbing. Brutal. Violent. Gory. Something that makes you cringe, especially when you pray.

Well, the catch here is, you gotta be desperate. Suicidal. Whiny. That's what attracts Vampire Guardian Angels. 'Cause they hate the begging for help. They really do.

Because they are, well, having issues. If you had to spend thousands of years playing therapist to human problems, I think a little R & R would be needed. But since God doesn't let Guardian Angels have vacations (or breaks), well, a psychopathic, sociopathic breakdown with a deep hatred of humans and calls for revenge for making them answer prayers is in order. Therapeutic for Angels. Bad for humans.

Oh, and the weapons they dispatch you with: swords and every type of exotic sharp weapon you can think of (google "Haladie dagger").

So if you're expecting Vampires that you can have a romance fantasy with, better leave the site. Unless of course, you start getting turned on by bloody gore. (Yes, grotesque can be pretty hot too, if you're into that.)

Oh, and don't pray. :)

Comic Book 4 in the works

Comic Book 4 "Resurrection: Afterlife" of my Vampire Guardian Angels Series is now in the works! My artists have just started on it and I will post updates as it progresses.

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Stickers!

 

In addition to my comic books and autographed photos, I will also have free stickers to give away (available until supplies last) at MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013.

MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013 presented by METAL INVICTUS & THE VEX
on
Saturday, April 6, 2013
from 6:00PM to Midnight.
It will be held at: THE VEX /ARTS L.A, 5240 Alhambra Ave, Los Angeles, California 90032.

This is an all ages event. $7 ADMISSION, $10 AFTER 10:00. FULL BAR 21+. The event will feature some of the best metal bands with female metal musicians in Los Angeles and a variety of metal vendors! Come out and support local female metal bands, vendors, and metal artists! \m/

For more info on the event and participating bands, please click here

Lia Scott Price Comic Books at Maidens of Metal II 2013

I will have limited copies of my comic books and autographed photos, and I will be signing comic books and photos (available until supplies last) at MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013.

MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013
presented by METAL INVICTUS & THE VEX
on Saturday, April 6, 2013
from
6:00PM to Midnight.
It will be held at:
THE VEX /ARTS L.A, 5240 Alhambra Ave, Los Angeles, California 90032.

This is an all ages event. $7 ADMISSION, $10 AFTER 10:00. FULL BAR 21+. The event will feature some of the best metal bands with female metal musicians in Los Angeles and a variety of metal vendors! Come out and support local female metal bands, vendors, and metal artists! \m/

Many thanks to Angie Gabriel!

Click here for more info on the event.