Friday, March 29, 2013

Happy Happy Joy Joy Psychopathic Guardian Angels

What do my Guardian Angels really think of us humans and our prayers? (Stop right here if you think this is some inspirational article about sweet, protective and helpful Guardian Angels, because you're in for a shock. Because it's not. So for those brave enough, go ahead and read on.) :)

They're not too happy about it anymore. No joy or love or peacefully strumming damn harps in their world.

But isn't it their job to help us humans out, because some other supposedly almighty supernatural being ordered them to? (kinda says so in the Bible, I kinda sorta heard...)

In my comic book series, not anymore. Because in a nutshell, we drive them crazy.

So crazy in fact, they've mentally snapped.

So every time they hear a prayer to them begging for help, they go ballistic.

And they have become sick of answering the prayers of the despairing who pray to them. See, if you have one billion or more people on Earth (just go with me on this math), and almost all of them believe in and pray to Guardian Angels DAILY, and want them to solve major problems, help with a crisis, help end their suffering and pain, or save them from life's miseries, well, that's a goddamn lot of prayers to answer. Like they are some sort of supernatural 24/7 therapist/super hero/savior.

You would think that at some point they don't wanna keep up with this image anymore. 'Cause yeah, whiny, desperate, nagging, helpless humans constantly and non-stop praying to you about their problems can get really annoying at some point. Especially if they keep relying on Angels to save them from everything.

Is it any surprise that they've become disillusioned and angry with their jobs? (Like, Where's the "me" time?)

And even as they become Vampires, unfortunately, they're still Guardian Angels, and they still hear the prayers loud and clear, they can't just tune them out, and they are still programmed to respond. They can't seem to shake that part off yet.

So, the only thing a Vampire Guardian Angel-turned-psychopath can do is, well, shut those darn humans up. For good. So they can have some peace and quiet. And a bloody snack. Think "Serial Killer with black wings, fangs, and sharp swords that hunt you down the minute they hear your prayer to them. You're a target. And a meal. You're kinda like, well,  summoning them big time. You don't wanna do that.

So the moral of my comic book stories are....

A Guardian Angel is a supernatural, unseen being. So, do you really know who you're praying for help to? People shouldn't whine to a guardian angel because you don't really know what a guardian angel really is. You never know what's coming for you. It could be my very angry, and very hungry, Vampire Guardian Angels.

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