Happy Happy Joy Joy Psychopathic Guardian Angels

What do my Guardian Angels really think of us humans and our prayers? (Stop right here if you think this is some inspirational article about sweet, protective and helpful Guardian Angels, because you're in for a shock. Because it's not. So for those brave enough, go ahead and read on.) :)

They're not too happy about it anymore. No joy or love or peacefully strumming damn harps in their world.

But isn't it their job to help us humans out, because some other supposedly almighty supernatural being ordered them to? (kinda says so in the Bible, I kinda sorta heard...)

In my comic book series, not anymore. Because in a nutshell, we drive them crazy.

So crazy in fact, they've mentally snapped.

So every time they hear a prayer to them begging for help, they go ballistic.

And they have become sick of answering the prayers of the despairing who pray to them. See, if you have one billion or more people on Earth (just go with me on this math), and almost all of them believe in and pray to Guardian Angels DAILY, and want them to solve major problems, help with a crisis, help end their suffering and pain, or save them from life's miseries, well, that's a goddamn lot of prayers to answer. Like they are some sort of supernatural 24/7 therapist/super hero/savior.

You would think that at some point they don't wanna keep up with this image anymore. 'Cause yeah, whiny, desperate, nagging, helpless humans constantly and non-stop praying to you about their problems can get really annoying at some point. Especially if they keep relying on Angels to save them from everything.

Is it any surprise that they've become disillusioned and angry with their jobs? (Like, Where's the "me" time?)

And even as they become Vampires, unfortunately, they're still Guardian Angels, and they still hear the prayers loud and clear, they can't just tune them out, and they are still programmed to respond. They can't seem to shake that part off yet.

So, the only thing a Vampire Guardian Angel-turned-psychopath can do is, well, shut those darn humans up. For good. So they can have some peace and quiet. And a bloody snack. Think "Serial Killer with black wings, fangs, and sharp swords that hunt you down the minute they hear your prayer to them. You're a target. And a meal. You're kinda like, well,  summoning them big time. You don't wanna do that.

So the moral of my comic book stories are....

A Guardian Angel is a supernatural, unseen being. So, do you really know who you're praying for help to? People shouldn't whine to a guardian angel because you don't really know what a guardian angel really is. You never know what's coming for you. It could be my very angry, and very hungry, Vampire Guardian Angels.

Move Along, No Romantic Vampires Here

Someone asked me the other day if my Vampires were "romantic and handsome".

Oh hell, no.

I proceeded to explain that they were, well, horrifying, bloody, and quite grotesque. And that you would not want to meet one in a dark alley, figuratively speaking.

Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

Well, she's not exactly my target audience.

If you're expecting a vampire love story with vampires as heroic, romantic figures, you've come to the wrong place.

And if you're looking for traditional vampires, I give you something completely different instead. Not the 1800s vampires, not the cloak-wearing vampires. And most definitely not the ...romantic ones.

No, they can't be killed by garlic, sunlight, stakes through the heart, or holy water. Holy water and crosses don't affect them 'cause, well, they are Guardian Angels. From Heaven. Still kinda holy. Sort of. Yeah.

These are not the vampires of legend and folklore stories. And they don't really like biting necks. They actually prefer to use swords and sharp weapons.

OK, so what are they?

Stay with me here. They are Guardian Angels. Yep, you know, the halo-wearing, white winged (well in this case, black winged), supposedly protective guardians of mankind? Um, not anymore.

Picture this: Guardian Angels go bad, become serial killers, basically kill humans who pray to them to shut them up (cause they don't wanna answer prayers anymore.)

Then....

Vampire bites Guardian Angel, Guardian Angel returns to Heaven, and, voila, turns all Guardian Angels into Vampires.

Still with me?

Let's move on. Human prays to Guardian Angel for help. Guardian Angel appears, except that he's a Vampire now.

Vampire Guardian Angel eats human.More like...disembowels. Eats...everything. Not just the blood. Think...disembowel....groovy.

Now that's much better. I prefer something disturbing. Brutal. Violent. Gory. Something that makes you cringe, especially when you pray.

Well, the catch here is, you gotta be desperate. Suicidal. Whiny. That's what attracts Vampire Guardian Angels. 'Cause they hate the begging for help. They really do.

Because they are, well, having issues. If you had to spend thousands of years playing therapist to human problems, I think a little R & R would be needed. But since God doesn't let Guardian Angels have vacations (or breaks), well, a psychopathic, sociopathic breakdown with a deep hatred of humans and calls for revenge for making them answer prayers is in order. Therapeutic for Angels. Bad for humans.

Oh, and the weapons they dispatch you with: swords and every type of exotic sharp weapon you can think of (google "Haladie dagger").

So if you're expecting Vampires that you can have a romance fantasy with, better leave the site. Unless of course, you start getting turned on by bloody gore. (Yes, grotesque can be pretty hot too, if you're into that.)

Oh, and don't pray. :)

Comic Book 4 in the works

Comic Book 4 "Resurrection: Afterlife" of my Vampire Guardian Angels Series is now in the works! My artists have just started on it and I will post updates as it progresses.

Comic Books on amazon Kindle

 

My comic books are now available on amazon Kindle! 

Click here for the links:  

BUY COMIC BOOKS

Stickers!

 

In addition to my comic books and autographed photos, I will also have free stickers to give away (available until supplies last) at MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013.

MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013 presented by METAL INVICTUS & THE VEX
on
Saturday, April 6, 2013
from 6:00PM to Midnight.
It will be held at: THE VEX /ARTS L.A, 5240 Alhambra Ave, Los Angeles, California 90032.

This is an all ages event. $7 ADMISSION, $10 AFTER 10:00. FULL BAR 21+. The event will feature some of the best metal bands with female metal musicians in Los Angeles and a variety of metal vendors! Come out and support local female metal bands, vendors, and metal artists! \m/

For more info on the event and participating bands, please click here

Lia Scott Price Comic Books at Maidens of Metal II 2013

I will have limited copies of my comic books and autographed photos, and I will be signing comic books and photos (available until supplies last) at MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013.

MAIDENS OF METAL II - 2013
presented by METAL INVICTUS & THE VEX
on Saturday, April 6, 2013
from
6:00PM to Midnight.
It will be held at:
THE VEX /ARTS L.A, 5240 Alhambra Ave, Los Angeles, California 90032.

This is an all ages event. $7 ADMISSION, $10 AFTER 10:00. FULL BAR 21+. The event will feature some of the best metal bands with female metal musicians in Los Angeles and a variety of metal vendors! Come out and support local female metal bands, vendors, and metal artists! \m/

Many thanks to Angie Gabriel!

Click here for more info on the event.

FAQ: How Do I Publish my Books

I became my own Publishing Company:
I did research on what a publishing company does in terms of production, marketing, publicity and promotion. I pretty much realized I could do the same things a publishing, marketing, and publicity company could do. I set up my own publishing company to publish my own works and produce a published and printed book, become an author, and I retain all of my rights. I'm not restricted by any contracts and I don't have to wait for anyone to publish anything for me and I control the timeline and all production aspects. I don't have to worry about any publisher pulling the book "off the shelf". And I can turn the book into films, comic books, eBooks, and whatever else I want. There still is the outdated perception that only a major publishing company or agent can turn you into a "legitimate" author. Self-publishing is just as credible and legitimate, but of course it still depends on the work being done well. It's up to me to get my name and works out there in the best way possible. Even established authors have to do legwork to get, and keep, their name out there. Remember that even a big publishing house may not necessarily make you famous. After all, it's still your work and you're relying on someone else to promote it for you.

Production:
I did research on cost-effective ways to get my book published and printed and decided to utilize digital publishing with no up-front setup fees. I used online print-on-demand publishing companies such as createspace.com to print hard copies of my books. I keep my initial production costs very low. I can edit my book if needed, create sequels faster, and change formats as needed.  Anything I can't do such as, say, the book cover design, I hire someone else to do it, just like a regular business would. I interview and hire the right people such as freelance comic book artists, graphic designers, editing services, etc. Being a publisher is also about getting the right services to create a quality product. There are new technologies today that help self-publishing become possible and online selling more convenient.

Sales and Royalties:
I utilized createspace's e-store and amazon for global digital inventory and online ordering. I can determine my own cost and what formats I want the book in. My royalties get paid much faster and I can keep track of them online. I can also keep track of what title is making sales.

Marketing, Publicity, and Promotion:
I became my own agent, publicist, and marketing company. I set up my own book signings and booths at conventions. Although I do have to pay for travel costs, at least I control when and where I make an appearance for marketing purposes. I can even make autographed copies available, which I set up through PayPal. Since I do a lot of my selling online, I cut down on the need to place the book in traditional bookstores, and I can sell pretty much anytime online. I learned how to write my own press releases and networked professionally with bloggers and media contacts to promote the releases and announcements of my works. I utilized social networking sites to get the word out about my books and used web sites as marketing and promotional platforms. I also write my own marketing blurbs and slogans (I get inspiration from tabloid newspapers and media headlines to come up with catchy slogans and ads). I actually look at flyers and junk mail to see what "headline" catches my eye. It's a lot more work but I don't have to pay anyone else to do it and it is a lot of fun. I learned Photoshop and created my own ads. I set up a publishing and promotional schedule and campaign, month by month, year by year, so I know what to promote and when and keep track of how and what promotional ad, blurb/slogan, or book is getting attention, and adjust things as I go along.

Running yourself as a Business:
I learned to balance creativity and business. You have to run yourself like a business as well and think like one if you want to get a "product" (your book) produced, promoted, and sold. It takes trial and error and practice, but that's basically what a publishing company does anyway. My method is DIY (Do it Yourself). To sum it up in the simplest terms, self-publishing is a mix of both business and creativity. You will have to run yourself as a business.You have to think like a business, while balancing your creative side. You essentially become your own publisher. Your project or creation is your "product". You have to design and create your own project/product, write your own press releases, find and hire the right people or service to help you (which I do, btw. If I can't do it myself or I don't know how, I personally hire or consult with experts.), book your own events, do your own promotion, market your own project, create merchandise, and run your business professionally to market your "product". It takes thought, time, effort, patience, research, worry, and energy.

Please read my writing and self-publishing disclaimer here